I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
