clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
