Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
