Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
