just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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