ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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