why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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