I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
