i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
