I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
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