Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
