all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
