I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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