I want to stick my p in your. b.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
