do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to have your abortion
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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