How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
