Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
