I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
