You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
