I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize