i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
