you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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