P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize