it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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