I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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