Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
