Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
