Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm just crazy horny about you
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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