she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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