I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
