i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
