It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
