and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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