.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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