Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
