wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
