dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
