I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
