I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
