i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
