It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
