I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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