I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
