dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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