Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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