I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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