On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize