I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just invented taco cereal.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
