8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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