i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
tell me about the eggs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
