your parents love me but you hate me
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
