my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
