i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize