used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
