Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
