BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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