Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
