I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
