Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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