Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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