i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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