Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
